Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
