Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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