your parents love me but you hate me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
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I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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