He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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