Midget sex pt 2 tonight
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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