You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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