You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
