i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I know her cup size but not her name....
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