I cockslap morals
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize