Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
high people should be assigned attendants
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
