At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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