Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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