We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All I want is dick and wine.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
