so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So squirting runs in the family.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
try to milk me bitch
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