bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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