i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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