Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
