i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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