Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
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