Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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