So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you would pick up someone in the library
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
