I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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