Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
