yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
