i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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