every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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