apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize