i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
