He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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