I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize