My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want a musical about memes.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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