At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There r osticjed everywhere
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
