I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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