There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
