Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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