Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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