I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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