ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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