After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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