I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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