worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
