i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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