Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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