i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
