Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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