My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
