Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
