i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she looked like the before picture.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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