Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
