It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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