The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
