the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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