I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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