i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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