True but thats because hes a fetus.
just tell him i said nine months
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
