I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
