you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
