Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
