id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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