she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
