I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I still have a little drunk in my system
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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