I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize