dude i'm inner monologue high
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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